What to Look for in Choosing a Spiritual Director

Choosing a Spiritual Director is a sacred and personal decision. Since this relationship involves deep vulnerability and spiritual discernment, it’s important to find someone who is both spiritually grounded and personally trustworthy. Here are key qualities to look for in a Spiritual Director:

1. A Deep Relationship with God

A good Spiritual Director is someone who has cultivated a rich and ongoing relationship with God. They are not perfect, but they are prayerful, discerning, and committed to their own spiritual formation. They live in dependence on the Holy Spirit and model a life of grace, humility, and faithfulness.

2. Training and Experience

Look for someone who has been trained in the art and ministry of Spiritual Direction. This training equips them with skills in listening, discernment, theological reflection, and ethical care. Many trained directors also receive supervision to remain accountable in their practice.

3. A Nonjudgmental, Listening Presence

A Spiritual Director should create a safe and welcoming space where you can speak freely without fear of shame or correction. They are not there to fix you or tell you what to do, but to help you listen for God’s voice. Their primary posture is listening—to you and to the Holy Spirit.

4. Theological Compatibility

While you don’t need to agree on every theological point, it’s helpful to have shared core convictions, especially around the nature of God, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and spiritual growth. This fosters deeper connection and mutual understanding.

5. Confidentiality and Trustworthiness

A Spiritual Director must be someone you can trust with your heart and your story. Confidentiality, integrity, and emotional maturity are foundational.

Ultimately, a good Spiritual Director is a humble companion who helps you grow in awareness of God’s presence and respond faithfully to His invitations.